In parting...

Seadogs had lined up their FF and HH fleets outside a base, in formation!
They kept blasting the coords into the comms to show everyone their beautiful steel armada.
I said in comms "wish ya'll were a bit closer".
no response

I made 8 fleets with one longship in each one, then sent them toward the armada across the sector. Eight LONG minutes I waited, while targeting the individual longships at a random ship from each player. They had their fleets all lined up in rows, and were tweaking them into perfect order for a group screenshot. Some folks in comms were already remarking at how lame it was, yet how quaint.
I grinned and watched my longships zoom across the sea, their wakes were like contrails in a blue ocean.

As the ships arrived I yelled in comms, "BONZAI!!!! Fear the Longships of Love!! [coords]"
Just then, all 8 of my fleet tabs lit up with battle and I watched their whole parade of fleets recall to their home bases, then they joined the battles to kill my... one longship each. There was much rejoicing. It's not often that I literally laugh out loud, but I did just then.

Wolf-Killer has a real problem with Bondai. He keeps telling me how sad I am for dedicating this much time to a video game, and that I'm fat and unemployed, and that I have no girlfriend and I am a waste of flesh and the whole nine yards. He told me a few days ago that I was going to be banned for hacking any minute now, too.
cool story bruh

Sloaney is on his way to smash that guy's base and he asks me to keep him busy in chat for 7 minutes, so he can hit him without warning. I start indulging wolf-killer in his lameassery, asking him what his favorite reality TV show is, how many miles he gets to the gallon on his massive pickup truck... I point out how incredibly ordinary he is, time and again, while insulting him on a level that takes him a minute to pick up on. I assure him that his mediocrity hasn't gone unnoticed and his personal insults on me hurt my feelings and my delicate sensibilities. I ask him if his daughter is hot.

He pretended to not be bothered when I told him, "There we go, thanks for staying distracted long enough for sloaney to sneak up on your base like that, I'm done with you now".

Before we left 429 we decided to smash all the miners in 428 for a couple days... it had the desired effect. 428's big boys couldn't catch our crew, because we exit our battles quickly and it's very difficult to engage us when we don't want to fight you. We hit the offline miners, like cowards, and talked trash to the spies that 428 had in sector... warning us to stop before it gets worse.

It did get worse, right before our 7 days was up, and we left 429 to their disaster... laughing the whole time. I decided to get us to a safe sector, for a week or two of peace. Sector 214, here we come!